my heart is heavy with love for you,
that i am afraid i must withhold.
i don't know if i can trust myself, for my expression is more than just a freeing of the delicate bird living in this cage.
it is a request for a home within your heart, and, an offer to make a home for you within mine, again.
no one else has moved in since you left,
and, to be honest,
i really do not think i will ever want to share the secret spaces of this heart-home with anyone other than you.
i've never wanted to have to draw a map for anyone, and you never needed one.
that's how i know that you belong here.
is it possible that i could love you so much, that i don't even want to tell you for fear that the re-opening of that storybook could perhaps be to your detriment?
i know that the story is not over, and i am not one to leave stories unfinished.
but can you forgive me for postponing the unfolding of its pages?
you know i always fall asleep in the middle of these things.
so now i dance to my heart's song on tip-toes.
i want to tell you how beautiful you are to me every day.
i want to learn to see God in everything as i discover beauty in unexpected places within you.
i want to merge our inner worlds, hold hands and squish our bare toes into the muddy paths of our hearts during life's rainstorms.
i want to believe for myself that i am as beautiful as you've always known,
and i want to witness love's bounty by burning through my resistance to your love.
for in this purification i know i will find and know only my truest self, my home, my haven, my heart.