tonight i had the chance to come face-to-face with some [constructive] criticism, from someone other than myself... which was much-needed, i've decided. it's funny to think that people actually read this stuff, and nice to have someone around to tell me when i'm wrong.
thanks for that.
i think that one of the reasons i want to help people is because i have a great deal of tolerance for people suffering from various personal troubles: i have been an emotional basketcase for most of my life, and have probably spent more of my energy analyzing and reflecting on the work of my mind than on anything else. but along with my empathy for others comes this subconscious expectation that others should be able to recover from similar experiences using the same routes that i have. sometimes i can get a little too preach-y, and the end result is that the person just feels worse because my attempts have left them feeling as though they don't have the resources to solve their own problems. f$%k, i wish i didn't do that. i really don't mean to be condescending. i have to remind myself regularly that sometimes wisdom is knowing when not to speak.
i guess that's the risk you take when you log in one of these public blogs: that you may offend someone with the way you say things, and get in trouble... especially when the very important nonverbal element of communication is absent. it's unavoidable, really, and there's no way i can truthfully speak my mind without stirring up some kind of objection. that being said, i really appreciate being challenged and having someone give that creeping ego of mine a slap on the wrist. sometimes i don't even know that my ego is involved until it is assaulted, and man i hate admitting that i'm on an ego trip, but always feel thankful for the humility vibe that reminds me where i really stand.
so thanks, you.